Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween

In honor of this holiday, I thought I could take ye, o faithful reader, down a terrifying lane of "costumes" that Mary has worn.


Mary as Gilligan. This was in order to promote sun safety, but as we have come to know, our dearest pet is a major hypocrite, because on her latest holiday, neither kid wore a sun hat.


Mary as mountain man/Seattle grunge chick. Doesn't she look awesome in those flannels?


Mary as a fat belly dancer, although I think belly dancers have more coverage on the nipple area, but hey, can't fault her for trying.


Mary as her granny's shiny curtains. Looks like she kept her beloved gran's curtains even if she threw her letters away. Aaaaw.


Mary as Princess Helena, Queen Victoria's fat daughter. Check the ugly, unflattering hairstyle and pudge stuffed into that poor blue fabric.


Mary as her ugliest sister, the tranny-looking one.


Mary as J-Lo in her fly girl days.


Mary as a fat, red Christmas tree.

The main mistake is that she put the star too low, but still, she has enough ornaments!!!

Another mistake is that she dressed up as a Christmas tree on New Year's, so maybe next time, Mary, you can don the costume on time?

Gotta give our girl props, she brought out the red parure and everything!

Got the lipstick shade wrong, though.


Mary as a bitch from hell mother type who isn't even attempting to comfort her ugly, screaming daughter.

Hmmm, Mary seems to play this character a lot.

Still, with a moron for a firstborn and a damnuglyone for a secondborn, who can blame poor Mary?

Well, I can, for one.


Mary as an ugly, homeless bum.

She is very fond of fugly knit caps and scarves, so she likes this costume a lot.

She will wear her ugly caps and scarves in the presence of other royalty so it must mean that she identifies a lot with this.

Or that she likes to mock the homeless considering that she is filthy rich now.


Mary as an ugly man. She's really good at this one.

Muscular shoulders and arms, no waist, tapenring down in the legs.

She forgot the man shoes and should have put her hair in a bun or under a cap, but I have to say she's really good in this costume.

Which makes you realize that she was corseted within an inch of her life in that sari dress and in her wedding dress to give the illusion of a somewhat feminine shape.


Mary as a pre-op tranny.

She's got the glam gown and jewels, and way too much makeup, but you can still see her penis.

This is what happens when bogans wear too-tight skirts, their massive Mounds of Venus are advertised to the whole world.


Mary as Jackie O. I would say this is her biggest failure, as Mary's massive shoulders and arms completely destroy the delicate look she was going for.


And lastly, Mary as a fat stripper past her prime, who hasn't showered in 3 days.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoah!!! Those pics look scaaarryyy and very nightmarish. And this is the future queen of Danmark??

Keep 'em coming Royal Truths!!

Anonymous said...

Guess Denmark will face the inevitable...'hit hard' in the head with g-l-o-b-a-l-i-s-a-t-i-o-n or to where our 'noice' Mares knows how to ;)...can any Dane say, "Hello, Ha-llo-ween 24/7" for the next 100 years or so - our 'regal' Mares will make sure of it that she will hold on for dear life doing whatever it takes to die [as a p-a-l-e] unwrinkled [clump of dough].
Keep up the great work Royal Truths! I look forward to your next post.

royal truths said...

Blame it on Frederik, he's the one who chose her!

aryan said...

I'm still amazed looking at these photos how often she walked around, in the company of HRH the Crown Prince of Demark dressed as a belly bearing, braless HO. Certainly SOMEONE in Freddy's inner circle must have told him to tell HER to put on a BRA! I'd love to blow up these photos into poster size, circle the nipplage, and go stand with it in the courtyard next time Meary makes a "oh so regal' balcony appearance. Just to remind dear Meary how trashy she used to dress-on a regular basis