Sunday, September 7, 2008

Mary Dearest

I have complained before about Mary's lack of caring for her children. She can't handle them, she doesn't know what to do when they cry, she doesn't comfort them, etc. But what happened a couple of days ago takes the cake.

Mary, the bogan Princess who shows off her Prada boots and Chanel bags every chance she gets, dresses her utter disappointment of a daughter in shoes that have holes in them. You goddamn filthy bitch, Mary. How fucking dare you?

Why is it? Because IsNOTabella is ugly? Because she's royal? Because she's got fucked up feet and Fred's face?

ONE can only imagine how poor IsNOTabella gets treated at home. Do you think she gets Christian's leftovers for food? DO you think she gets her Bogan brand Huggies diaper changed right away or is she left to stew in her own filth until the nanny notices? Sure, she gets a $700 mink vest, but isn't that more for YOUR glory, Mary? What the hell does the fugly one know? But your Eurotrash Danish friends get to know that you put that piece of shit on her. And now they know you make her wear shoes with holes on them.

But your new blue wedges look awesome, and I guess that's the point. The only way you can be more than your daughter is to make her wear rags and shitty shoes. Too bad your little plan isn't working out.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Proof that Mary reads this blog

Seems like someONE took my last paragraph to heart. You know, the one where I call her a whore. Because not only has Her Royal Trashiness appeared in a fucking DIAPER AD, but she nearly showed us her sweaty, hairy, naughty bits!

Now the whole outing to get diapers makes total sense. Her designer-casual outfit, the oversized "celebrity" sunglasses, and Mary being alone, to make sure Huggies got good shots of the "normal mum" without any of her ugly sisters or genetically-doomed nieces in tow.

As for her whorish getup, Mary should do as her betters have and weigh down the hems of her skirts. But not even the promise of seeing the royal cooch could get more than a few people at Mary's events, so her people had to pimp out kids from the local school to make for better shots.

And by the way, the outfit doesn't fit you, Mary, you might want to try a tailor next time. The saggy boob area, the cheap-looking seams, and the uh-oh skirt just make you look like the bag of trash you are.