Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Mine was a vacation, what's your excuse?

So faithful readers, as you may have noticed, I took a bit of a break here, and I noticed the Mary Mothership, AKA, Danish Royal Watchers, is taking a break, too. I had a lovely time with lovely company, thank you for asking.

I have had people comment that Susan Moody is the person behind DRWS, I really don't think The Plump One would write such drivel, although, hey, her books are pretty darn mediocre, and so is DRWS, so it could be.

But regarding this blog's reason for being, the newly minted Countess of Monpezat - excuse me while I laugh - is that in preparation for a divorce, so Mary will have a lifetime title? The way this self-serving family acts, they remind me of the US Congress, voting on their own salary raises. Hmmm, let me think, should I vote YES on raising my salary? That's a hard one.

In any case, let's recap the last few weeks in the life and times of our favorite piece of bogan trash, shall we?

First we have Mary being inducted into the Royal Mayestaits Acteurs at the Culture House, like other members of the DRF before her. She completely ruins the collar of that jacket with the stupid black ruffle underneath. Are we shocked? Of course not, it's Mary, capable of ruining any designer piece in a single outing, able to mix gorgeous pieces so badly that ONE wishes to throw her to the pig bin.

Here is Your Mary, with a major bitch look on her face, looking down at an older lady who did her part for the DANISH RESISTANCE. Can you imagine? What has the world come to when a social climbing, gold digging piece of trash can be a snob to such a heroic figure?

Mary attempting to recerate a portrait of the beloved Ingrid for Billed Bladet. The camera whore Princess Mary is nothing but a cheap copy. A cheap copy who loves to pose for magazines, but is hard pressed to give interviews because SHE STILL CAN'T SPEAK DANISH WELL!

Mary looking awful after a laser treatment. She really should have done it when she had a few days before venturing out to scare people like that. The raw scarring, topped with a kilo of foundation give her a burn victim's mask look, although her crows' feet still look pretty bad.

Mary gets it wrong again - I said I loved the TV show Shameless because hottie James McAvoy is in it. But Mary heard "Shapeless" and thus wore this awful ensemble that does absolutely nothing for her masculine figure.

I think Mary needs help learning how to walk as well as with her clothes, because what the fuck is this???

Mary and co. in Miami, where she takes advantage of a giddy Frederik, happy to have gotten 4th place after many poor results with Nanoq, and after plying him with much booze, stages a lovey dovey kiss that has the Mary fangirls set changing their panties.

A badly staged photoshoot of IsNOTabella's first birthday "celebration" with the family. Mary, overdoing the smiles (so soon after the laser treatment, Mary?) showing Christian's crotch to the world, and Frederik, in another awful striped sweater. This man wants to be the next Bert Convy, and if you go look up who that is, you will be very scared.

And here is Mary, attempting a daring decolletage for the mammary-challenged. Sadly, delicate fluttery sleeves are not good on massive bogan shoulders such as hers. Good color, as compared to all the puke and pus shades she usually sports, but bad style. Who the fuck is choosing this crap? Is it Mary or her much touted and grossly overpaid stylist? Because, whoever it is, Mary looks like crap.

After going home in her blue dress, Mary seems to have had some major Botox injections because she looks like a mannequin (and not a good one) in this latest appearance. The Egyptian style kohl eye makeup is truly horrendous in both color and application, and she can't seem to move the upper part of her face.

So, my darling readers, these are but a few of the lowlights of my favorite ex-chubbette's goings on. She gets more and more pathetic every day and if the rumors I am hearing are correct, there is a good reason for that.