Monday, August 11, 2008

The Olympics of Self Promotion

8 years after that tragic Olympiad where famewhoring chubbette Mary Donaldson snared the imbecilic Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark, we are, once again, treated to photos of the Clown Prince Couple (love that, credit the fab RD posters) "reliving their amour" in an Olympic setting.

Yeah. What-EVAH!!!

The only Olympic thing about Fred and Mary being in Beijing is Mary's Olympic-Sized Need for Attention to the point that she has been ignoring the Danish contingent (not continent, sweeties, contingent, means the Danish team, k?) in favor of socializing with the only people who still care about Her Royal Whoriness - the Australians. You know, the people she quickly left behind as soon as it was clear Frederik was in the bag, the nationality she abandoned in a jiffy because it was more lucrative to be a Princess of Denmark? The only people who understand her when she talks because between her faux-English accent, her bad Danish, and her bad-native English, we just can't understand the words that are coming out of her mouth!!!

However, that doesn't stop us from enjoying ourselves at Mary's expense, beginning with the Olympic-Sized amounf of makeup Miss Perfect Skin wore to the sweltering opening ceremonies. You can see it here, melting off her sun-damaged, large-pored, overly madeup face.

The array of shit that has been Mary's wardrobe begins with this ludicrous print dress that resembles a sausage casing due to the unfortunate panel of ruching and the fact that Mary should have worn one size bigger.

Sorry, Mares, you are no longer the emaciated skeleton from the week before your wedding. Which is a good thing, but you are no longer "sample size" as Australian Vogue breathlessly declared. You must dress to the body you have now if you are to look semi-decent.

Another bad "trend" that Princess Loser wears probably because it's expensive, never mind that it does nothing for her Macho Macho Man figure was this black dress, better suited to a petite type like Letizia, not a lumberjack-wannabe like Mary and her tranny sister.

The only semi-decent ensemble was this navy blouse with white pants - gee, Mary, would it have killed you to wear the blouse in RED?? You know, Denmark's colors? Sheesh, do I have to do all the thinking here?? - which reminded me of the evening gown Mme. Bruni-Sarkozy wore on her spectacular visit to the UK.

Maybe that is what Mary is doing, copying someone with style. And frankly, considering she is such an ignorant slag who doesn't know quality unless it has a label on it, that's what she should do, copy someone with style. Because Mary, you are a soon-to-be-40-year-old woman who still dresses like she has no clue. Because you HAVE no clue, and that idiot "stylist" of yours doesn't have a clue, either, she just uses you to get HER name out there, is what I think, and everyone at the Palace laughs when you leave the house with your bra showing, or, quel horreur!, with your UNDERWEAR showing, your stupid whore.


Anonymous said...

According to DRW, Mary's 'floaty' tops and newly bustin' out belly is due to the fact that Her Royal Whoreness is expecting another Royal Rug Rat (which will probably end up looking like another one of those horrific Cabbage Patch kids).

Anonymous said...

What a disgusting attention seeking whore. Signing autographs?! WTF, is she a rock star or royalty? She better be pregnant, got to garner sympathy somehow for her f-ing stupid actions in Beijing.

Anonymous said...

Cabbage Patch Kids..OMG the perfect way to describe her children! Those gigantic heads are quite frightening. Although I do have a soft spot for Isabella.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I take it back. Only IzNOTaBella looks like a hideous Cabbage Patch kid. You know who Christian looks like? He looks like one of those scary Teletubbies he loves so much. Those rotund, fat faced, bugged eyed creatures from British TV who can only grunt, while staring, glassy eyed at their audience.

Anonymous said...

Hi Royal Truthie,

Wonder if we can ALL petition for OG to ban the 'Clowns'

Surely, the host country has enough native clowns of their own, without these two imports hurting our eyes & sensibilites.

Wots with the Mary had a Little Lamb, Clothes? She dresses her offspring in granny dresses, and wears her age group dresses herself!


Stick to wearing dead heritaged animals, Mares. Suits you better.

Great post, Truths!


Anonymous said...

Have you seen her buying nappies in Hobart? - unbelieveable!

Anonymous said...

Now, hold on just a minute. She shows up in HObart with 18 pieces of luggage and yet, has to run out the next day for diapers? I'm fairly certain that somewhere in all 18 pieces of Prada luggage Mary managed to pack some nappies. We all know the trip to the 'chemist' was just a much needed Media Fix for our dear Meary the Media Whore. It had been a whole 15 hours since her last encounter with the press and she was starting to suffer withdrawal symptoms. She could've easily sent out one of her sisters (or their husbands)to pick 'em up but...noooo..Mary needed to go herself (flanked by her Danish security guards and local law enforcement protection of course). The Aussie papers wrote that Meary looked "as elegant as ever"
as she bought two packages of nappies, one pink and one blue.

Anonymous said...

The Aussie papers also report that Mary returned to Denmark from China to collect her luggage and her children (those two items being synonymous for Meary)and then flew to Australia. Yup, you heard right folks, the Model Mother left her kids at home for an entire WEEK with their nannies so she could focus on her most important mission in life: soaking up the spotlight. What happened to the Meary who swore she'd 'never' let her kids be raised by nannies?
Or to the proclamation her and the Clown Prince made to the Danish press last November that they will always be there 'when their kids get up in the morning and when they go to bed at night.'

Anonymous said...

And last, but certainly not least, was this tidbit of information: Meary brought a NEW nanny with her on her visit to HObart. So, either they fired one of their other two nannies (perhaps one of Meary's kids referred to her as 'Mommy'?) OR they've hired a THIRD nanny to help them care for their TWO kids. And, by the by, why the HELL does Meary need a nanny with her in HObart, anyway? Because she relies on her nannies so much that she doesn't even know how to care for her own kids and the idea of having to look after them all by herself scares the shit out of her!