Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Another trip to the Bogan Homeworld


After the May nuptials of Prince Joachim and Marie Cavallier, after which will follow much attention on the new Princess of Denmark, and after much publicized confirmation that no one in America gives a shit about who Mary is, as seen by the complete lack of US media coverage of the disastrous trip to New York, our Bogan Princess is headed to the place where about seventeen people still give a shit about her - Tasmania!!!

I understand, I mean, that's seventeen more than in America - and I'm not talking about drooling fangirls, I'm talking about the media, press, magazines, TV, none of which give a flying fuck about this chest-rubbing gold digger turned Prada Princess.

After the Olympics in Beijing, where the Stuttering Fool will attempt to make a statement with his presence (well, he sure can't make it with words because the moron can't even talk) about his suitability for an IOC post, he will join Mary and the two Future Emotional Wrecks, a.k.a. Christian and IsNOTabella, who will leave China and its even-more-difficult-than-Danish language in order to have a Private Vacation in Australia.

Let's take a tour down memory lane and see what happened the last time this self-centered cow went to Tasmania, shall we?


Mary happily waving at the Australian media, her best friends in the world, because they report every burp and fart of hers.


Mary stood by the house's GLASS WALLS until a reporter came up and of course, Mary felt dutifully obliged to answer. God forbid she do something as rude as she did at the Melbourne Cup, when she was still the "girlfriend" - as I recall, a reporter asked her who made her dress and she said, "a Danish designer"; when asked which designer, she snapped, "just write it's a Danish designer, ok?" Filthy rude bitch, what a big fucking sense of entitlement she took on, didn't she?


Appeared decked out in her celeb-gear - full makeup, Marianne Dulong jewelry, huge attention-whore sunglasses, and celeb-accessory Christian - to go to Salamanca place, which had more people per square foot than anywhere else, so Mary was guaranteed tons of people whipping out their camera phones to take photos of the "Aussie Princess".

She checked out the stalls, making sure to take her time and let everyone tell anyone who hadn't heard, that "Our Mary" was doing shopping here!!!

Of course, the news was "leaked" on danish tabloids NOW, i.e. months before, because lord forbid Mary go anywhere without everyone being alerted. Many royals manage truly private vacations and while they do speak to the press like Mary & co. did at the zoo, they mean it when they travel privately. The press is not alerted, they do not pose in front of glass walls, and they do not go to the most crowded open air shopping area in the state.

With the Danish media being critical of Mary's spending, lack of Danish skills, and purpose, and more and more people in Australia being sick and tired of being force-fed stories about Mary, I look forward to this trip in August. I forecast lots of attention whoring opportunities and much bogan posing.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's all about ego. She needs to come back to Australia to visually brag to her former 'roots' about how well she has slithered up the my-life-is-passing-me-by ladder (although hard to go up a ladder on your back isn't it?). I can't blame her really, she has scored big time. She's rich, she's secured her royal position with marriage to a prince and producing two rug rats, and she's got tiaras to boot. But what amuses me, is how she experts to return to Oz and holiday like normal! Private holiday. yeah right. Media whoring is a full time job Mary Mary quite contrary. P.S I just have to mention this: WHERE THE HELL HAS HER AUSTRALIAN ACCENT GONE??? I am so sick of this pompus stilted Euro-trash accent that she has. Fucking traitor.

royal truths said...

Dear anon - don'tcha know? the Aussie accent isn't good enough! She had to put on the fake accent that doesn't even foor her own brotha!

Anonymous said...

Hi Royal Trutie,

Wheall, ain't it obvious, Darlink?

Fake accent, for a Fake Princess, who is a FAke being!

That's why she needs to return to Tas-i-MAN-ia to RE-Fuel herself!!

And we all know what happens to traitors, don't we?

they used to get hung by their finger-nails, in the olden days!!!

Keep up the great work

Getafix :-)))