Here comes the bogan!

There she is! Isn't she lovely? Her radiant pale skin almost matching her pale bridal gown, the huge tiara . . . oh wait. The tiara, diamonds and rubies, doesn't go with an ice blue gown. (Not that it matters, Mary yanked it out of the vault as soon as she found out that Marie was getting a bigger (and historic) tiara than her own pitiful little wirework piece.) And oh, that's not the bride!!

That's just the Crown Princess of Denmark attempting to overshadow the bride, Marie Cavallier, as she marries into the royal family. Tsk, tsk, Mary, I know you are a Desperate Bogan and an attention whore, but come on!

Of course, Mary's pathetic attempts failed miserably as Marie proved to be the most radiant royal bride of recent history. Not only did she look happy and was kind to those around her, unlike Her Royal Bitchiness, but she chose a dress that suited her perfectly, suited her delicate frame, and was appropriate to the occasion. Had she not spent way too much time applying Le Self-Tanner, she would have been perfect, but the girl is human, non?

At least Mary didn't go with her first choice:

which she is probably saving for when Joachim and Marie christen their first child. After all, Mary will probably still not be godmother to any royal child, so she's got to get attention somehow! She sure did her best at this wedding, waving on the red carpet like her was her debutante ball, and shooting daggers at little Felix, innocently about to fall asleep right in front of her, probably hoping he would fall on his face and she would have one less "cute royal child" to compare to her own two blank-faced dumplings.