Mary poses in combat gear . . . again
A new royal portrait is unveiled, to much, much acclaim
So, does this count as a "turning point" kind of week? Let's hope so, and let's hope that this week's news are just the beginning of The Incredibly Snobby Bogan's downfall.
Apparently, Prince Braindead lost his wedding ring while diving. Stories abound of Mary greatly saddened because this represented "their love" - ahem. Puh-leeze. You know she's about to pull a Diana and consult a psychic to see what this Really Means. Honey, I can tell you that for free. If he didn't care enough to take it off before diving - if that is, indeed, where he lost it - who can say how much it really means to him? Of course, he has a replacement one already, can't let him out without the reminder of his Worst Mistake Ever!
We are treated of this most awesome photograph of Mary The Fighting Princess, in full camo makeup - which is slightly less makeup than she wears daily - and STILL posing, her lips slightly parted and halfway to pursing.
What can I say? A bogan is a bogan is a bogan. And Mary will never stop being a bogan. Although that headgear is better than that awful purple hat she wore to the unveiling of her portrait. That thing needs to be burned, now.
Poor Caroline Heering should be given a raise for having to go along with this joke. And Per Thornit and Anja, aka, "The Most Useless Stylist in the World", need to be fired.
And now onto our next item:
Can you feel the veins on Mary's forehead swelling with righteous indignation? Can you hear her breathing . . . suddenly . . . stop upon seeing this glorious image? Can you feel her clenched man hands as she grabs the newspaper and throws it into the bin?
I can - and it's pretty!!!
Everything Mary has fought for, her carefully altered image, her stupidly gilded CV, her white skin, her new taste for Prada, everything she has done in the last 7 years is now GONE GONE GONE because this is the real Mary in that portrait. A vulgar chubbette who refuses to let go of her Aussie connections (i.e. Uggs) and despite her professed love of animals, uses them for decoration. I also love the depiction of Christian, looking as stupid as ever.
Here it is, Mary, your worst nightmare come to life. And you know what the worst part is?
That it was painted at all?
That it WON the prize?
That it has been printed in the Australian and Danish media?
No.
The worst part is that people get it. They laugh at it, and you, because it is the real you. Underneath the fake accent you are still that girl, and you always will be.
Now go cry in your Foster's.
2 comments:
Dear Royal Truthie,
Hmmm what a week, eh?
Its like The potrait of Dorian Gray has met Lord of the Rings!
Frewdums has seen the real potrait, and he's dumped the RING into the Fires of Mordor...
Well done, Frodo, Aimean....Frederick! Nine fingers and all...!!!
Keep up the great work, RT.
Getafix ;-))
That's a very uncharming portrait. But, if you're going to do it, go the whole hog - she should have been sitting on the loo instead of that chair. I'm right, aren't I?
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